I should be sleeping...

That is my new saying. And really, I should be sleeping, but how can I when I feel so neglectful of my blog.

I want to share with you how I feel. Except I wish you to truly FEEL how I do in this moment....Hum, try to describe, well I feel 'bitter-sweet'. Let me xplain, before you role your eyes and think I am ungrateful. I feel the bitter taste of grief in knowing our sweet birth-mom is suffering. A sense of sadness overwhelms me when I remember her words as we left the hospital "please take care of my son". In a way I am grieving for her, shedding tears for her, I have such a deep compassion inside for her. So yes, this is a bitter taste. She has placed with me someone who she truly loves. She trusts that we too will love him. She had only 3 days with him and she has given us forever. Thank you. What follows is definitely sweet. I am in love. My heart exploded when Barec came into the world. It could not hold the love that I hold for him. He is my sweetness: sneezes when he is changed, squeaks when he eats, chews his hands when he hungry, and snorts when he's upset. He smells like dinner rolls and feels like them too, he was worth all the fertility troubles, long cries, pain, time, and more. He is now our everything our sweet joy.